2012 didn't work out so well in the blogging area

Let's try this again!
Blake left to live with his Dad on March 13th of 2012.  So, I realize now that I quit doing a lot of the things that I used to do.  One of the things I intended to do in 2012 is blog. I realize now too that blogging is another form of sharing who and what you are going through. Who am I kidding? I don't normally share that in normal, everyday life...what made me think I would do it in this form?  I am usually a pretty private person and don't tend to share details with anyone unless I am extremely close to you and really only after I've either gone through it, worked it out how I was going to get through it or if it's something that I find trivial.  After I've sorted through it all...I'm an open book. I sometimes don't seem to "care"' enough for people because I don't ask questions. I have the mindset of "If you want me to know, you would tell me."  So, it's not that I don't care...it's that I try not to pry because *I* personally don't like that.

2012 was a trying year and I feel like I went through it mostly in a fog/daze/out of body type experience.  After Blake left - I didn't lay around and waller in my pain, rejection and grief.  When I am going through something and don't want to engage in life...I tend to hole up in my house and do either nothing or get busy.  So, lucky for me 3 weeks after he left I had a Thirty-One party at my house on April 1st. I was a co-host with my cousin Kim.  It was a crazy party and thinking back...I was "just there". I knew right away though that I wanted everything in that catalog, so I had to sign up for the discount.  (I didn't even know what the discount was....haha!)  So, I told Amanda that I wanted/needed to sign up, but also told her "Now, I have 2 other businesses and I am only doing it for the discount. Please don't think I am going to actually sell - just to my friends and family so they can get the discount."  She politely said, "Ok-that's fine. I understand."
So....because there was this Incentive going on at the time where if I sold $1,000 in 30 days I could get my $99 back for the starter kit...I waited 16 agonizing days to sign up.  I booked my first party before my kit came in.  I had no clue what I was doing at that first party - but was more than halfway to the $1,000 mark when I left there and I also left with 2 bookings and another team member - the hostess Dawn Dean. Hmmm....this might not be so hard after all. Oh!  AND before this first party, my first team member signed up. (Jessica Jansen) So, once they both qualified I was a Sr. Consultant.  So, just for having that one party and also had my launch party shortly after at my house - I finished qualifying, earned more free product from Startswell incentive program, sponsored 2 new team members - I earned 25% commission, earned my kit money back $99 and also a $200 Sr. Consultant bonus.  This was so much fun. I remember laughing and laughing because it was almost too easy.  I was so busy being "me" and researching my heart out so I could maximize all of the benefits of all the parties and such that I looked up and it was summer and I had 5 team members and I was in "DIQ" (Director in Qualification). I really didn't know what all of that meant because it was just over 90 days from me starting this journey and everything was so new and fresh still.
There were low times - NO DOUBT- but God knew that I needed something to occupy my thoughts and time.  I can spend hours editing photos and yes, while that would take up time, it wouldn't occupy my mind. Editing is sort of "mindless" once you are used to what you are doing. I could spend all day editing a session and "do something else" altogether in my mind. So...with this...I was learning something new and He was growing me and stretching me in ways I didn't realize at the time. I'm sure I'm still not aware of all He is doing in me. I know that I am learning to put situations and people (my child, in particular) in His hands and say "He's yours", "this is yours to deal with" because I can't be there or I can't do anything myself to fix the situation. I am leaning on Him now more than I ever have.

So, the rest of 2012 was eventful in the 31 world.  I have accomplished way  more than I ever thought possible.  I no longer take photography sessions unless you are my family or close friend. (very limited) not because I love it any less...but because I don't have time! I have a goal with 31 and I'm not inclined to stop until I get there, unless God has different plans.

If this company, who bases it's whole premise of being on Him, how can it fail.  I give HIM all the glory for my success in this company...for without Him...I surely would have stayed in my safe place and never given this wonderful company a chance. I've said it before and I'll continue to say it because I believe it.
I believe that Thirty-One saved my life...who knows where this sad,rejected and heart broken Momma would be today were it not for this business!

Wow! You must have a really good camera!!

I read something recently that hit home with me, because I've been told this a time or two.  I guess, if you are a "photographer" that has been taking pictures for yourself or for someone else, for any length of time you have heard this phrase too.  "That is such a great picture, you must have a really good camera."  OR  "That camera takes such good pictures!"


I am kind of giggling as I write this because.....YES, my camera does take excellent photos, but it can take some TERRIBLE photos too.  My camera and all of my equipment is not to blame when I take a photo that is out of focus, white balance is off, not composed correctly.....it's MINE...the user.


There are so many functions to my DSLR that are made to make the photo that I am shooting excellent...and I study all the time trying to learn my equipment to achieve excellence.  I don't have the latest and greatest.  I have a Canon 50D...there are newer cameras out there for sure.  They all achieve the same end result with proper knowledge and use.


What spurred me to write this blog entry?  
Chef to Photographer that was taking pictures of his food: "Wow!  Nice Photos...you must have a really good camera!"
After the photo shoot, the chef serves the photographer a thank you meal.  After the meal the chef comes over to make sure everything was to his satisfaction.  The photographer calmly says:  "The meal was excellent...you must have a really good stove."  The chef looks at him and said "Point taken."

Softener too

I can help myself...I have to try all of these cheap alternatives.  I think I am addicted!


This time it's Fabric Softener.  Just finished my first load using it along with the homemade laundry detergent.  Can't smell the vinegar at all...smells great!

What You’ll Need:

• 6 cups HOT water
• 3 cups white vinegar - already had in my pantry.
• 2 cups Suave Ocean Breeze Conditioner - $1.49 {or other favorite scent or any brand. I just used this because it's CHEAP!} This size conditioner was 2.5 cups...I just went ahead and used it all in there.  :)

What You’ll Do:

• Mix conditioner & hot water well, until conditioner is dissolved completely. Stir - DO NOT SHAKE...or you will have foam.
• Add the vinegar, and mix well.
• Store in a large container {empty fabric softener container, milk carton/tea carton, empty large vinegar bottle, etc}

• Pour into a Downy ball (to the first line at the bottom) … or use approx. 2 tbsp. in the fabric softener spot in your laundry machine… then wash!

All Clean!

So you know I am just a tad bit obsessed with Pinterest.  I kept seeing people posting their homeade laundry soap.  I read sooo many different recipes.  They all have a few common threads.  I just picked ones that I thought would suit me best.  I already had the Zote soap that we bought in Mexico on our Honeymoon almost 5 years ago and never have used.  haha  So...I bought the other ingredients and went for it.

Here's the link to the recipe that I used.  What got me is her update.  Her batch lasted her 9 months...washing like 8 loads a week.  That is approx. how much I wash a week and that is amazing for the cost!

http://beingcreativetokeepmysanity.blogspot.com/2010/11/homemade-laundry-soap.html#comments

I cut the recipe in this first go round, because I just want to see if I like it.  

INGREDIENTS

1 -  4 lb 12 oz box Borax (2.15 kg or 76 oz) found in the detergent aisle 

1 4 lb box Arm & Hammer Baking Soda (1.81 kg)  - $2.12 at Wal-Mart

1 - box Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda 55 oz (3 lb 7 oz) found in the detergent aisle - $3.24 at Wal-Mart

3 bars of Fels-naptha soap, found in the detergent aisle (any bar soap or Zote soap is good too.)

2 small containers of Oxi-clean or store brand Oxi-clean (try to get about 3.5 lbs total (1.58 kg)) found in the detergent aisle.

(this is optional, but I like it because I use it in every load anyway)

2 containers (13.2 oz) Downy unstapables in-wash scent booster  (optional:  I added it for the smell) - $6.97 @ Wal-Mart

Directions:

1.)  Grate your Fels-Naptha, Zote or any bar soap works well too (I've read Dial soap or Ivory is great.)  I used this small trash can and it was plenty...

2.)  Next you just add all your other "ingredients" in .  I put on latex gloves and just mixed with my hands real good.

3.)  Add to your container of choice.

 USE 1-2 TBS PER LOAD (normal loads 1 tbs.  For x-large or heavily soiled loads, use 2 TBS.)

Little Pinterest inspired sprucin' up...

So, I am addicted to PINTEREST...

I have tried recipes that I like, household cleaning tips that are useful, Photography ideas, craft ideas, etc. 

This one in particular was much needed at my house.

About 4 years ago, I took the house numbers off the front door and never got around to replacing them like I wanted to.

I saw this quick and easy idea on Pinterest and went for it.  It was started and finished in less than 10 minutes. 

Wonder what the next Pinterest inspired activity will be?  Maybe, just maybe a wreath to go on that empty door hanger.... 

I don't want to raise a good child...

It seems as though I am in constant prayer for my sons Blake, 15 and Jordan, 11.  Being a Momma of a 15 year old is NOT EASY I tell ya.  I am always praying that I find the right way to reach him, the golden ticket of motherhood that would magically give me the answers I so desperately want/need. It's a delicate balance for me. One definition for Independence in Webster's is defined as this: "Not looking to others for one's opinion or guidance in conduct."  ( Ummm...did I see a picture of my son behind that sentence?  Okay, well maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me...but I could've swore...anyway - back to the regularly scheduled blogging)


 I subscribe to Lysa TerKeurst from Proverbs31.org and she wrote something today that really hit the mark for me.  Maybe it will for someone else too.

---

I don’t want to raise a good child

My daughter, Hope, is a senior this year.  And she decided her senior year should be adventurous and a little out of the “normal” box.  A lot out of the box actually.
She withdrew from traditional school.  Applied with the state to homeschool. Enrolled in on-line college courses that would allow her to get both high school and college credit simultaneously. And planned to spend the month of January serving in Nicaragua doing missions.
This didn’t surprise me really.  Because Hope has always like charting her own course.
When she was really little I was scared to death I was the world’s worst mom, because Hope was never one to be contained.  And I honestly thought all her extra tenacity was a sign of my poor mothering.
One day I took her to the mall to meet several of my friends with toddlers to grab lunch.  All of their kids sat quietly eating cheerios in their strollers.  They shined their halos and quoted Bible verses and used tissues to wipe their snot.
Not Hope.
She was infuriated by my insistence she stay in her stroller.  So, when I turned away for a split second to place our lunch order, she wiggled free.  She stripped off all her clothes.  She ran across the food court.  And jumped in the fountain in the center of the mall.
Really nothing makes the mother of a toddler feel more incapable than seeing her naked child splashing in the mall fountain.  Except maybe that toddler refusing to get out and said mother having to also get into the fountain.
I cried all the way home.
Not because of what she’d done that day.  But rather because of how she was everyday.   So determined.  So independent.  So insistent.
I would beg God to show me how to raise a good child. One that stayed in her stroller.  One that other people would comment about how wonderfully behaved she was.  One that made me look good.
But God seemed so slow to answer those prayers.  So, over the years, I changed my prayer.  ”God help me to raise Hope to be who you want her to be.”  Emphasis on, “God HELP ME!”
I think I changed my prayers for her because God started to change my heart.  I started sensing He had a different plan in mind for my mothering of Hope.
Maybe God’s goal wasn’t for me to raise a good rule following child.  God’s goal was for me to raise a God-following adult.  An adult just determined and independent and insistent enough to fulfill a purpose He had in mind all along.
I don’t know what mama needs to hear this today.  But let me encourage you from the bottom of my heart with 3 simple mothering perspectives you must hang on to:
1.  Don’t take too much credit for their good.
2.  Don’t take too much credit for their bad.
3.  Don’t try to raise a good child.  Raise a God-following adult.
And all the mamas of fountain dancing children said, “Amen!”

That is some good advice!  I am going to let that roll around in my mind and heart today.  

God, change me to stop being so fearful of how he's going to turn out and start thanking you for the person You are molding him to be.  

I'm sure there will be more blogs about my kids.  They are my life.  Jordan - the soon to be 12 year old seems so easy compared to this soon to be 16 year old...haha!  They are good kids and I thank God everyday for them.  Heck, THEY are making ME the person that I am constantly being re-shaped and molded into.  

Get it together Judy!

2012 has been eventful already.  I have been cleaning, organizing and throwing stuff out!  Feels so good to purge.  I am - of course - back on the weight loss train....I want this last year of my 30's to be my "get it together" year.  Get it together with what God wants of me, get it together in the Mom department (being consistent, firm and positive - balanced), be the best wife I possibly can and get it together in the ME department.  That is enough right there to keep me busy for the whole year! (the ME dept.)


I am going to pretty much use this blog as my tool to "get it off my chest".  This year should be interesting. Now if I can just remember to BLOG...that would be a good first step. haha!


I didn't make any resolutions for 2012...because I usually don't keep them.  I don't want to set myself up for failure.  However, I do have to keep trying...keep on keepin' on as my Dad says.


First things first.  My personal relationship with Jesus is #1 on the 2012 "get it together" list.  I have become increasingly aware the parallel between my relationship with God and my relationship with my son.  As a Momma, I long for those days when he is actually interested in talking to me and sharing his life with me.  That is not as often as I would like. I remember being this way as a teenager with my parents and I am so sorry Mom and Dad!!  When I pray and have my devotion time, I am constantly reminded of this feeling that I have and wonder if that is how God must feel sometimes.  It has prompted me to be more real with Him instead of just surface.  I don't want a surface relationship with Him...I want a REAL - get into my business - relationship with Him.  Already in the first month of 2012 He has made Himself real to me by answering prayers and for showing up in a situation when it seemed so out of control.  I used to kind of snicker when I heard someone say "Daddy God"....but it's TRUE.  He is our Father in every sense of the word. I probably still won't ever physically say that phrase, but I get it.  


My grandmother, a.k.a. Bom Bom, used to always say "Lord Willing" after almost everything. We kids used to kid around because she used it for literally everything.  It's because she ran literally EVERYTHING past Him first before she did it.  That's something to strive for.  


When I was a teenager, there was a situation that came up that was a "gray area".  I wanted to participate and my Dad wasn't comfortable with it at all.  I didn't understand in the least bit...because it was a church function and how in the world could there be anything wrong with a church function...right?!  I remember him looking in my eyes and saying "Have I ever steered you wrong?"  My answer was a shake of the head "No".  He said, "Do you trust me?"  I nodded my head "Yes".  He just said "I don't know what else to say, but as your Dad, just trust me"  That conversation plays in my head a lot...and I've actually used it recently with my son Blake.   


God tells us to do the same.  
Proverbs 3:5-6 (AMP)
Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.

So for some, 2012 may be "year the world's going to end"...but for me...it's going to be the year of sharing what God has done for me, getting it together and giving Him all the glory.